The Coldest Winter
by Ice Queen 333
Summary: Things have changed,but not for the better.The pain she felt over loving Inuyasha was nothing compared to this.Kagome isn't so bright anymore.
1. Prologe

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AN:I'm going to give up oneshots for a while and give my hand at chapters.Tell me what you think of this,please.

Disclaimer:I own nothing.

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_She awoke to the sound of thunder and pounding rain on the rooftops.Or maybe that was just the pounding in her skull? Air seemed a strange thing as her lungs gasped for it and choked once they got it.The pain in her head seemed to grow more intense by second as she managed to crawl,literally,out of bed.Only managing to make it on all fours,she gave into weakness and fell down on her stomach.Still not completely recovered from the activity of crawling out of bed,the rest of her energy was taken away by a coughing fit.Blood splattered on the already dirty carpet and dry heaves echoed in the room.Lifting herself up on her elbows,she concentrated on just breathing.And even that was taking some time to do right.Once certain she wouldn't choke,she moved her head from the stinking carpet of new and old blood and the scent of bile mixed in._

_Suprisingly able to make it to her knees,she crawled out of her bedroom and into the bathroom.Weak fingers grasped onto the counter for support as she lifted herself up,only to fall back down again.Her legs simply wouldn't hold her.After another try,she gave up and contented herself to just lean against the wall.Every part of her body was laced with either pain or numbness.She honestly perferred the pain;at least then she could fool herself to believing her body was actually trying to make itself better.With the numb...well,you knew you were screwed then._

_She took a deep breath,which caused another hacking fit.Luckily,no blood came this time.Calming her breathing once again,she laid her head against the cool tile of the wall.She couldn't feel much of it because her damnable thick hair was in the way.But,she couldn't even lift her arms up,not even for that simple task.'**Can I get anymore pathetic?'**,she wondered tiredly.The little voice in her head said,'No,not by much,anyway'.Strangly,she found herself agreeing with it._

_She drifted in the realm of being asleep and being awake for awhile,closing her eyes for minutes at a time then opening them and stare at nothing.After a good two hours of this,she tried getting up again.After her fith try,she managed to stand.She leaned against the counter,gasping for oxygen,while her legs shook so bad they looked like they were about to break right then and there.Looking up painfully,she came face to face with the bathroom mirror.The image in it was almost enough for her to fall back down and just wait to die.The woman,not a girl,that looked back at her was so tired and worn that it had lost it's humor ages ago.The ugly,black/brown hair was covered in dried mud and was nothing but one huge tangle.She doubted highly it would ever look half-way decent again.Pale lips were busted at the top and no amount of lipstick would ever hide that scar.Her small nose looked like it had been broken and had healed the wrong way.It was also covered in small,angry,red scratches._

_Her eyes were a dull shade of grey,looking almost black in the low lighting.She couldn't tell if they were empty or soulless and whatnot.One,because she had never seen such eyes and thus could not compare.Two,frankly,she didn't give a fuck what emotions,or lack thereof,they portrayed.Going up to her left temple,there was a long,fresh,bruised scar that went the whole way down her face,ending at her jaw,which was broken,by the way.She didn't look any lower than her face.What she was seeing was scary enough,gazing any lower and she would probably faint._

_So,this is who she was.A woman who looked like she belonged in a morgue instead of a bathroom.She sighed and closed her eyes,head bent down.She'd have to think of a new name for herself.Because this...thing she had become,could not possibly be called Kagome._


	2. Autumn's End

AN:Chapter two!

Disclaimer:I own nothing

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_It was cold in the rest of the house,but the kitchen was by far the worst.No light made it seem even more haunted and chilled.Kagome stared out the window at the wind blowing leaves all over the place.Autumn was nearly over and the wind had become stronger everyday,making howling noises and causing the roof to shake.Sometimes,Kagome wondered if that was the wind at all.Or something much more foul,trying to scratch it's way in._

_She blinked,and cast a glance at the shadows.Who knows?It could be.That howling sounded alot like a human screaming...a very familiar woman's screaming.Kagome shook her head and looked out at the night.Daylight wouldn't be for several more hours,thankfully.She had started staying awake at night and sleeping during the day with the curtains drawn.It was going to be hard to switch back once she went to the Fuduel Era again,but frankly she didn't care.She liked the night.It hid things,kept them out of sight until you actually looked for them and even then,they were hard to find._

_Daylight made everything come to life,brought everything out in the open.In the daylight,she could she how empty the house really was.In the daylight,she saw everything that was missing.In the daylight,she could clearly see all the gashes and bruises that now adorned her body.In the daylight,all the memories were brought to the surface.A stupid arguement...a tearful face...the hopeless look...the screeching tires...the smell of burning flesh.Everything that the darkness hid came back to smack her in the face with the sun._

_Kagome sighed and rubbed a calloused hand over her cut temple.A month ago,she wasn't like this.She remembers what had been that stupid,lovey-dovey girl who wanted to save the world and get the guy.Kagome smirked as she remembered how she cried everytime Inuyasha went to see Kikyo or didn't pay her enough attention.The pain she felt now made that idiotic shit pale in comparrison.All she wanted was his oh so special love,and in the meantime,someone who had really loved her was forgotton._

_Was she really so fucking horny and lovesick that she spent every minute on him?And now look where it got her.Sitting in the kitchen staring out the damned window.Kagome snarled to herself and looked down at the spotless kitchen table.He would never love her and the only one who did was gone.But,suprisingly,the former didn't hurt at all.The latter was the one that ripped her heart open._

_Inuyasha didn't seem important anymore.Boys in general didn't seem important anymore.Nothing did._

_The only one who ever loved her was gone.Lying at the bottom of a river with metal sheets impaling her.Kagome shuddered,but didn't cry.She couldn't cry.It was about Inuyasha that had killed the one who loved her.And it was all HER fault.'**I killed her.**',Kagome thought,dry sobbing.The voices in her head blamed and taunted her,making her guilt and longing grow._

_Guilt for being such a bitch and destroying the only one whoever gave a damn._

_Longing for it all not to be true._

_They had once been the perfect family.Grandpa would tell insane stories and get upset when a "valuable" item was even so much as touched.But the stories he told always had a happy ending,and he was always there,smiling,encouraging us to do our best.Now,he locks himself in his room and stares at the wall,waiting for his own end to come._

_Souta used to be a silly little eight-year-old.always going on about vidoegames,robots,and his first crush.Now,love from another dosen't seem so important either.He drinks whatever he can get his hands on and,when that dosen't work,sobs himself to sleep,each,and every,single,long night._

_She used to be sweet,stupid,school-girl who didn't know to quit while she was ahead.Now,she was a battered woman with nothing better to do than contemplate how do die._

_Oh yeah,they were the perfect family._

_But..then Mom died...and everything went straight to hell._

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_The horror part of all this will come in soon._


End file.
